Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Day One Complete

Well, today was day one of BCP's. I am so happy we are finally starting to do something.  And today was my birthday (the 20th).  So, I cant think of a better day to start this journey.  I pray that next year at this time I am holding my baby in front of my tree instead of my pack of pills. HaHa

Sunday, December 19, 2010

We are finally starting..........

Well, AF arrived yesterday.  I called Wash U and was told to start BCP's Monday the 20th (which happens to be my birthday), Lupron Jan 6th, first doctors appt Jan 19th and if all goes well start stims on Jan 21st.  ER should be week of Jan 31st. Very excited, very nervous!!!  I am so ready to get things going. 

How soon after I start stims, should I expect my first doctors appointment for ultrasound and blood work???

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Back to the Land of the Living

Wow, what a rough week it has been.  Finally got the results back of my ultrasound, my gallbladder and pancreas came back normal.  My liver came back as "increased liver activity with elevated liver enzymes" but they said it was nothing to worry about.  I wonder if God just gave me this as a distraction from getting ready to START IVF IN LESS THAN A WEEK!!!  Holy crap.  If AF behaves, she should arrive on Friday the 17th and hopefully BCP's this coming week.  Very excited, very scared, and very nervous!!  Getting closer to our dream....

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Well, I went to the doctors on Tues afternoon.  He described 3 categories.  First, someone that isnt diabetic at all,  2nd someone who is diabetic and needs medicine or insulin, and the 3rd is a grey area in between.  That is where I am. Not needing meds or insulin but my levels are raised and out of the normal area.  He recommended me going to a dietician and learning what to eat and what not too.  But then he said that he doesnt believe my problems are related to that.  He thinks something else is going on and the blood sugar is a result of that.  He thinks it is either my liver, pancreas, or gallbladder.  Scheduled more blood tests and wants an ultrasound done of my gallbladder.  That is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 7.  He insisted on running a pregnancy test along with some other things.  Results came back yesterday, my liver enzymes are elevated, and SURPRISE pregnancy test was NEGATIVE.  I could have saved myself $60.00 and the sting of someone else telling me I wasnt pregnant.  Pissed me off.  I knew I wasnt, but they dont care.  Money sucking bastards.  And then I got to here yet again, you're not pregnant.  Geez, the feelings of an IF.  I hope that is the last time a professional tells me that.  So, now I sit and wait, and wait and wait it feels like.  Still getting very dizzy all the time and pretty much only able to lay flat to not be dizzy.  Go tomorrow for the ultrasound but then you have to wait 2 or 3 days to get results back. YIPPEE  It's the weekend, I need to figure out what is wrong and get back to work.  Everything moves so slow. 
Now I have a big decision to make.  I am supposed to have my period Dec 17th and start my "official" cycle, BCP's then shots.  And I have 2 weeks scheduled at the end of January to be off for ER and ET.  But if I end up needing surgery or some strong meds or something and get half way through my cycle, I will have to start over.  Then again, if I put off this cycle to next month and it turns out there isnt anything wrong with me and I have some kind of viral thing going on, I will have to change all the days I have off already in January and go through that whole process.  I dont know what to do???  Wait and hope they find something, or start and hope they dont???  Any advice ladies...........

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Nothing like a trip to the emergency room to scare you to death

I am sitting here shaking. I just need to get it out without saying it to someone who is sitting there staring at me.  I havent been feeling well since early Friday morning, very pukey, just icky.  Thought I was coming down with the flu.  Called in sick to work over the weekend and still felt just off.  I got DH to go to my moms and get her blood sugar machine.  Sure enough, my levels were all out of whack.  I have extensive history in my family of diabetes.  And I am not a small woman.  So, I have been very sick with high blood sugar.  Ended up in the emergency room yesterday for blood work and a general workup.  Well, the A1C which measures your 3 month blood sugar average doesnt come back right away, the have to send it off.  I mentioned to the doctor about upcoming IVF cycle starting in about 10 days and they said that wouldnt be possible if my levels are so high and they cant get them under control.  So now I am sitting here, my primary calls me and tells me he wants to see me today.  Wont give me my results back over the phone.  I am panicked and bawling and dont know what to think.  I am so mad at myself and my body and I feel like everything is slipping away from me.  All I can think is that there is bad news that they wont tell me over the phone.  I had expressed my concern with having to pay for a doctor visit today with just paying for er visit yesterday.  Why cant they just tell me over the phone????  I swear, if I get there and everything is fine, I will be relieved but I will guarantee they will have a bitch on their hands.  I will throw the biggest tantrum right there in the office.  And if I get bad news, then I just dont know what I will do.   Please Lord, dont take away my chances for being a Mom before I even get to take the first step.
Anyone out there diabetic and either preggo now or had a baby????  I could use some positive thoughts right now.  Until then, I go at 1:40pm.  Prayers would be appreciated.  Thanks

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Swimmers On Ice, Coming to a Vagina Soon!!

Yesterday, DH had his TESE.  It went really well.  They got 5 vials of sperm.  Basically they say that they thaw 1 vial per egg retrieval.  So we have enough if I want to do 5 cycles of IVF.  Umm, no thanks!!!  First of all, I know we cant afford it, so no need to talk about it.  I am so proud of him, he did great.  We got there at 0615, they took him back at 0725 and he was done at 0830.  We spent about 90 min in recovery and then we were off for our 2 1/2 hour drive home.  Spent most of the day in bed sleeping yesterday.  Minimal bruising and only had to have a 2 inch incision and just had to go to 2 sites to get what they needed.  Doctor said that was great.  So, swimmers are frozen!!! WAHOO   Now it is up to me and my body.  I pray they want to play nice and behave.  Expecting Aunt Flo on or about Dec 17th, then BCP's then we will fully be in our "cycle".  I am sure things will start happening fast, but I feel like it is all moving at snails pace.  But it is nice to say that our first "official" step is complete with a success.  Waiting for next step...
P.S     Special thanks to DH for coming up with the title of this post.  Pretty proud of himself, I think. LOL

Monday, November 29, 2010

Shutterfly Deal

I love the holidays. Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  I am thankful that Shutterfly is giving out 50 free holiday cards to all bloggers.  YIPPEE.  I had been scouring their website looking for the perfect design and I found it for my family.  It is the Dazzle & Sparkle card.  It will hold one of our wedding pictures perfectly to send out to family that werent able to make it to the wedding.  Also in the past I had ordered a wall calendar that I put all wedding pictures in it. I have it hanging in my kitchen and it is a perfect way to having my memories handy all the time.  I love all the selection and havent been disappointed yet.  There are so many options!!    I havent yet ordered any birthday cards but if this IVF cycle is successful, hoping one day I will be able to order these.  They are so adorable and hope to have a baby girl someday to use these for.
So, if you are in the mood to send out holiday cards, Shutterfly is the perfect way to do it.  Can shop,customize and order all from the comfort of your own home.  So grab your pajama's and coffee and get ordering!!!    Get yours here!!!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

St Louis, Here We Come

I wanted to write this post today. I am at work for 16 hours, get off at 0630 monday morning, then home to sleep.  As soon as DH gets home from work, we will hit the road.  Off to St Louis to spend the night before surgery day Tuesday.  We have to be there at 0630 hrs and DH is scheduled for surgery at 0700hrs for his TESE.  This marks the "official" first step towards baby.  I couldnt be more excited.  He on the other hand, is VERY nervous about getting his balls cut open again. lol

Thursday, November 18, 2010

IVF Roller Coaster

I found this tidbit from a fellow blogger and asked her permission to use it.  It describes exactly how crazy of a ride this is.  Hope you enjoy!!!

The IVF Plunge!

The latest.... The greatest.... Come ride the spectacular new roller coaster, now open at an IVF clinic near you! Take...
Thrills! Chills! Stabs! Jabs! Laughs! Screams!
What makes THE IVF PLUNGE so unique is that it is actually several rides in one! But not all riders will experience all the rides - automatic track switchers randomly select cars to go on any particular sequence. In addition, selection of a clinic also results in different protocols, behavior, treatment, cost and support. So THE IVF PLUNGE is never the same ride twice!
For more details, read on....
Some riders will experience thrills on the INSURANCE ride! Swinging you around, upside down and inside out, a brass ring of coverage will be tantalizingly close, only to be snatched away at the last minute! For those riders who manage to snatch the brass ring, a FREE RIDE on THE IVF PLUNGE is available! (provided they meet certain restrictions.) Riders who don't grab the brass ring get a consolation prize - a ride on the CASH attraction! Whether maxing out the credit cards, taking a second loan on the house, or sponging off of future grandparents, this is a ride that you will remember for the rest of your life as you struggle to pay off the debt!!
A new attraction for PCO sufferers has recently been added - called DAY ONE. This ride starts with the well-known classic DAY ONE - a big draw in the INFERTILITY group of attractions - and ratchets the anticipation UP!!! Will YOU meet the cut-off date??? Then of course there is the Day 3 FSH - do YOUR ovaries have what it takes?
The first part of the main ride is familiar to those who've been to the INFERTILITY attractions before - OPKs! But the intensity is GREATER - the highs are higher and the lows are lower and the kits are even HARDER to read!! But it all pays off as you move into....
MEDICATIONS! This is the most intense part of THE IVF PLUNGE, described by visitors as the ride from hell!! Whether your shots are sub-cutaneous or intramuscular, you won't want to miss the artificial menopause brought on by lupron, and don't forget THE HORRORMONES! You think you've done injectibles before? You think you're a pro? THINK AGAIN!! With HIGHER levels of injectibles, and DAILY monitoring, this is where the nightmare becomes reality! Then who can forget the terror of HYPERSTIMULATION, one of those random side trips! Another random side trip, POOR RESPONSE, has a chance of ending your ride early!!! Just another sense of anticipation! Can YOU make it through this part of the ride?
If so, it's on to RETRIEVAL AND TRANSFER. This ride is unique in that NO TWO PEOPLE EXPERIENCE THE SAME THING!! Some will sail through with arms raised, careening into the next sequence. Others will be shunted off due to poor egg or sperm quality, incomplete fertilization, or fragmented embryos! Your heart will be in your mouth as you await the phone call telling you how many embryos made it! And will you be sick with anticipation, or is that a reaction to the anesthesia???
Then the TWO WEEKS FROM HELL. Words cannot describe this phenomenon! With daily intramuscular shots of progesterone in oil, this is probably the most painful part of the ride! The highs and lows are even more intense, as you are surrounded by well-meaning but offensive friends and relatives saying "Well?" and otherwise telling you what you SHOULD have done. NOTHING you have experienced in the two week wait of prior cycles will prepare you for this!! You will laugh, cry, scream - all at the same time! You will feel suspended in time as you wait for.....
THE TEST. The most anticipated part of the ride!!! Some random number (depending on clinic stats) will PASS!! Those lucky riders will go on to the PREGNANCY ride, a swirling maelstrom of emotions, changes, and risks! Those who receive a negative beta-HCG are not left out though. They will descend a huge drop of what will seem like ten miles in about 10 seconds!! The misery and tears will be just the beginning, as pregnant women and women with babies and adorable toddlers will be EVERYWHERE! But never fear, because for only thousands of dollars you can once again -

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Deflated Balloon

Just a quick note.  I called WU yesterday to get put on the schedule for December cycle.  They told me in October to do this and they would get my meds and calendar to me.  So I called and they told me I had to wait till next cycle to call.  Which means, Aunt Flo mid month December, call, they order BCP's and meds and then I start BCP's on cd4, Lupron in December. Then it will all happen really fast.    I knew that it all wasnt going to happen till then but I just wanted to ACTUALLY have something done.  The ball rolling.  Now I am back to sitting and waiting.  Oi Vey

Monday, November 15, 2010

It's A Great Day

Aunt Flo decided to visit 2 days early this month.  So that means I can call clinic tomorrow and OFFICIALLY get on the schedule to start in December.  WAHOO.  I think this is the very first time I have been excited for her arrival.   Usually she pisses me off and announces my BFN

Thursday, November 11, 2010

This is a BITCH/RANT post, you have been warned!!

I am going to start by saying this is my blog and if I feel the need to complain or bitch, I am going to.  This is supposed to be my outlet for everything I am feeling and going through.  And right now, I am definately feeling something.
I know that I am extremely lucky to have some insurance coverage.  There are many people out there that have no coverage at all and pay everything out of pocket.  But then there are some people that have unlimited coverage.  I am one of the ones that has a $10,000 lifetime coverage and we all know how far that gets in a cycle.  Not even the whole cycle and no meds. And my husband has to have a TESE performed and none of that is covered.  Well I eventually got all my numbers figured out on how much I would need to borrow for our loan to cover all the differences, called the bank and they wont loan it without collateral.  I have my car title and can use that.  But what happens if my car gets wrecked?  Am I just out no money and no car with a loan to still pay off??  I guess I just wish there was a guarantee with IVF.  The only thing keeping us from having a baby is my husband is shooting blanks, nothing wrong with me.  So once he has his surgery, things should be a go.  My RE seems to think we have a very good chance getting preggo, but how do I know they dont say that to everyone.  It is like I want them to put back like 5 embryo's so hopefully at least 1 will stick.  Because I know for a fact this will be our only chance at a pregnancy.  My husband and I are newlyweds, just starting out.  We have a house and he has 3 kids from an earlier marriage.  And unfortunately, I didnt know any better when I was younger and thought I needed to travel and have all these nice things.  Problem is that I paid for it all with a credit card.  Now I am thousands of dollars in debt and paying ridiculously high interest for all my fun I had when I was younger.  God, how I wished I would have listened to people when they told me to shred those credit card approval forms.
So that brings me to my current situation.  No money saved, no baby, and almost 35.  I have been sitting this evening questioning how my life ended up like this.  Like how did I get to this point??  Most women dream about their prince charming coming, marriage, and a family shortly after.  All by the time they are 25-30yrs.  I have an amazing husband and I am lucky for that.  But I cant help but wonder if I am being punished for all the bad or wrong things I did when I was younger.  Wrong boys I kissed, wrong boys I picked, lying to my parents about the wrong boys.  All the crap I did.  How did I get here?  I have always dreamt about being a mom.  I cant imagine my life without kids.  I was put on this earth to be a mom!  I have so much love to give.  How do I go on with my life if that isnt what God has in store for me?  I cant imagine there being a purpose.
How do you go into an upcoming cycle already having doubts.  That has to be a bad sign.  Like it is doomed from the very beginning.  It's not like this isnt already the hardest thing we will do, it will get harder with a BFN.  Now dont get me wrong, I would give anything to be a mom.  Any amount of money in the world. I just wish it was a guarentee.  Like why go through everything if for nothing?  How do I know what to do?  I guess I kinda just answered my own question.  How do you NOT go through with it for a chance to be a MOM?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Wishing for a money tree

Well, we finally got the invoice for DH's upcoming TESE.  Ka-Chunk  I have been trying for about a week now to find out the approx cost for my first round of meds from WU.  Playing phone tag between WU and my insurance and myself and getting called back during the day while I sleep, it has been exhausting.  But I actually think I have a general figure to get the loan for.  So, now I will get the loan and prepare for the 2 largest debit card purchases to EVER hit my account. LOL  I hope my bank approves them!  So after that, I just have to wait on AF for November and then call WU to get put on the cycle list for December.  Holy crap, that is soon. I am just excited to finally be doing something productive

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Here are 2 pics that I meant to post.  I want them on my blog so I can go back some day and see how I was feeling.

First is me the day of our first visit to RE

Other picture is me waiting for my TET.  AKA first date with the Dildo Cam

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I have questions that need answers.....

How long before the start of your IVF cycle did you give up caffeine and things you shouldnt have?

Does taking Fish Oil enhance your chances for pregnancy with IVF/ICSI?

Anything I shouldnt or should be eating?

Any other supplements I could be taking to enhance my chances for a BFP?

I have been on folic acid for over a year and just stopped taking them and started taking Pre-Natal plus vitamins.

Friday, October 22, 2010

New Blogs=New Friends

I just wanted to add a new post to my blog.  I had originally thought that I would only use my blog from DH's and I's doctor visits, IVF related  things and such along those lines.  But now I am finding that I want to document EVERYTHING. And that includes all the great ladies I have been talking to on here, especially Erin at Ridin With The Robertsons and Annonymous at Crossing my fingers but not my legs.  They both have been so kind and I love their blogs. Both so open and honest in their posts.  I cannot describe how nice and comforting it is to know that I am not alone in this adventure and have ladies to turn to if I need to talk.  I am hoping to find many more people to follow on their journey and have them follow mine.  It is nice to know that we arent alone, right?????

Friday, October 15, 2010

Money, Money, & More Money

Well today we got a notice in the mail from the doctor who is going to be performing DH's TESE.  Apparently they want their money upfront too.  I knew that my insurance was going to pay 80% of my IVF and so that means we were going to have to take out a small loan for the 20% as they wont go through with my procedures and IVF until it is paid in full.  We were expecting that, but we werent expecting DH's doctor to be the same way.  What ever happened to getting a bill and making monthly payments????  Guess some people would just take their baby and run and not pay their bills.  Guess that ruins it for the rest of us.  It just stinks to have to come up with such money in order to get us a baby.  And even then, there is no guarentee.  Just feeling kinda down tonight.  Everyone wants their piece of the pie, but what if I dont get my piece!!!  lol

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Additional info from my doctor

Just received word that I will be starting IVF with my December cycle.  Once I start my period, I will begin BCP's for 3 weeks, then start injections after that.  So, it looks like January is going to be a very busy month.  Perfect time to be driving 2 1/2 hours each way to see the doctor.  Oh well, I will do ANYTHING for a pregnancy.

We have a surgery date!!!!!

DH finally has a surgery date for his TESE.  It will be Nov 30th, that was the soonest we could get in.  I am so excited to finally be getting this show on the road.  One more step closer to hopefully getting prego!!  I have a call in to my doctor to find out when I can start my injections.  Hoping I can get a cycle in before the end of the year, but not sure since the lab shuts down last 2 weeks in December for their cleaning.  Fingers crossed!!!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Good News

DH had his appt with the dr who is going to perform his TESE.  He says everything is a go on his end.  He has absolutely no doubt that he can get sperm from DH.  He says he should have excellent sperm due to the fact that he has fathered 3 children.  His procedures can either be done the same day as my ER or it can be done ahead of time and will be frozen until I need it.  That is a huge relief.  It will actually be performed in the same room as I will have my ER.  Sweet, he will get to see it first and let me know if it is scary.  All I have to do now is schedule DH's surgery and then decide when I want to start my part, like the BCP's and injections.  Man, this is getting to be much more of a reality!!!

Friday, September 17, 2010

IVF orientation, TET and Sonohysterography

Today we had our Ivf orientation from 830-1pm at Washington University.  Class was somewhat informative but I felt like since I had done so much reading and research on my own, that it didnt really help me.  But it had to be done before we can proceed with everything else and it was free.  Towards the end of the class, we had injection teaching.  All I can say is YIKES!!  I think the stomach ones wont be too terribly bad, but I am NOT looking forward to those.  At some point in the process, I will be giving myself 3 injections per day.  YUCK.  But if it gets us a baby, I will do anything.  We learned about how to draw up the injections with the drug, dispense the plunger and give ourself the injection.   Then we went upstairs to have our TET and Sonohysterography.  It all went great.  Dr Keller said my uterus, lining and ovaries look beautiful, which was a huge relief.  The procedures didnt hurt really, just cramping and then afterwards my lower back hurt a bit.  Guess it was from all the poking and prodding around.   All in all, it was a good day.  Now we wait till Oct 1st, for our consult with Dr Bullock and get DH surgery scheduled.  I cant move on with my stuff till DH has his surgery.  So now, we wait.  again

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

tomorrow is orientation day

Well, I am sitting here on my couch waiting for Ryan to get home from work so we can head to St Louis.  We have our orientation tomorrow morning and then my trial embryo transfer and another test.  I am so nervous and excited in the same way.  I know it will be awhile before everything gets started, since Ryan has to have his procedure the TESE done.  I have to say I am scared about the injections.  I am thinking that I will be able to do the stomach injections, but the ones in the butt scare the crap out of me.  I am hoping Ryan is able to do them, he doesnt like to see me in pain.  Let alone be the cause of my pain.  But I love him very much and I have faith in him.  Well, hubby just got home.  Off to St. Louis.

Monday, September 13, 2010

good news

well, i found out today that i have prescription coverage under my major medical insurance plan. YIPPEE!!!
IVF is back on.  We have orientation on Thur Sept 16th.  I am so nervous about getting shot up with needles.  But I know it will all be worth it if this works.  I cant hardly believe that in a few short months I could be pregnant.  UNBELIEVEABLE

blood work & decision time

Well, where to start.  These past few days have been a trying time for DH and I.  I recently found out that my insurance will pay up to 80% of IVF coverage. YAH!!  Then the next day I found out I have NO prescription coverage for IVF meds. Which means we would have to pay for everthing approx 3000-4000 dollars for meds. BOO  We simply do not have the money.  So now, we are looking into a personal loan or a home equity line of credit.  If we cant get a loan, there will be no IVF for us.  I am so bummed I cant hardly stand it.  The thought of not having a baby with my husband is too much for me to bear.  All I have ever wanted was a family.  So now, our only option is donor sperm.  And I have thought long and hard about this, and I have no idea what to do.  DH is ok with it, bless his heart, but I just dont know.  I worry about all the things that could go wrong in the future using donor sperm.  Lord please help me and guide me to make the right decision for us all.
I went ahead and did my blood work today to check all my FSH and TSH levels.  Guess we will see how those come back.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

First Appointment down, many to go

Well, we had our appointment with Dr. Keller yesterday.  All in all, it went well.  My blood pressure was a little elevated 140/70 due to being nervous.  I got weighed and Ryan and I got our picture taken for our chart.  That way we arent just a name on a chart.  I have to say, I kinda thought that was neat.  Dr. Keller came in shortly after that and went over our only 2 options which is IVF or donor sperm.  I dont think I really want to do donor sperm, I want a child with my husband, I just wish it wasnt so hard.  We got alot of information to go over.  She gave me an order to have by blood drawn at Blessing on day 2,3,or 4 of my period and also gave me a script to put me on pre-natal vitamins.  Ryan has to have a procedure done called TESE.  Basically they go in surgically and remove sperm, then freeze them until my IVF cycle begins and we use them for implantation.    I am very excited to start this but also very nervous.  Cost is a big one, I am hoping our insurance pays for the majority of it.  Otherwise this will not even be possible.  So, the first thing we have to do is get an appt set with Dr. Bullock who will perform Ryan's procedure.  Hopefully I can get that done later today.  So, still waiting, but that is ok.  At least we know what we are in for.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

New patient paperwork

Nothing exciting to report today except I got my new patient paperwork from Washington University.  Got it all filled out and ready to go. We sent in a release to get Ryans records sent to us also.  Come on Sept 1st!!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Upcoming Appointment

Well, I hadnt had much to report until today.  We got the doctors appointment cancelled that was to be with a doctor who isnt in our insurance network.  So now we have one scheduled with Dr. Keller in St Louis for Sept 1 1:45.  We are very excited to be starting our new adventure, but also scared.  We are hoping our consult goes well and we can begin our journey soon.  More to follow when things get moving along!!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

First Post of Hopefully Many

Well, this is my first post of my new blog.  Not really sure what I am doing but I wanted to have something to reflect back on during Ryan and I's adventures in trying to get pregnant.  First I guess I should start from the beginning.  During Ryan's first marriage, he had 2 boys then he decided to get a vasectomy.  Approx a few years later, he and his wife decided they wanted another child.  So Ryan got a reversal, they had a daughter and then he got another vasectomy in approx 2001.  I know, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!  We met in 2009 and got engaged May of that year.  I have no children of my own and we wanted a family together.  So in Sept 09, he had a reversal done and for the next 11 months have been trying to get pregnant but having no success.  Testing shows that there is no sperm in his ejaculate.  We went to his urologist on Tues Aug 3, 2010 and was told that we would only be able to have children together if we went through IVF.  Him having sperm taken out through surgery and me having egg retrieval, then having them fertilize in a petri dish then having an embryo transfer back into me in 3-5 days.  Hoping that the egg attaches itself to my lining of my uterus.  In 2 weeks, we would take a blood test to see if I was prego. I know, sounds somewhat simple if that is the only option we have.  Well Google became my friend at work last night as I did a TON of research about our new adventure.  And I have to say, Google is my enemy now.  I just managed to get myself even more scared than I already was.  So, as it stands right now, we are waiting from a referral from Ryan's urologist to get into a reproductive endocrinologist in my insurance network.