Monday, November 29, 2010

Shutterfly Deal

I love the holidays. Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  I am thankful that Shutterfly is giving out 50 free holiday cards to all bloggers.  YIPPEE.  I had been scouring their website looking for the perfect design and I found it for my family.  It is the Dazzle & Sparkle card.  It will hold one of our wedding pictures perfectly to send out to family that werent able to make it to the wedding.  Also in the past I had ordered a wall calendar that I put all wedding pictures in it. I have it hanging in my kitchen and it is a perfect way to having my memories handy all the time.  I love all the selection and havent been disappointed yet.  There are so many options!!    I havent yet ordered any birthday cards but if this IVF cycle is successful, hoping one day I will be able to order these.  They are so adorable and hope to have a baby girl someday to use these for.
So, if you are in the mood to send out holiday cards, Shutterfly is the perfect way to do it.  Can shop,customize and order all from the comfort of your own home.  So grab your pajama's and coffee and get ordering!!!    Get yours here!!!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

St Louis, Here We Come

I wanted to write this post today. I am at work for 16 hours, get off at 0630 monday morning, then home to sleep.  As soon as DH gets home from work, we will hit the road.  Off to St Louis to spend the night before surgery day Tuesday.  We have to be there at 0630 hrs and DH is scheduled for surgery at 0700hrs for his TESE.  This marks the "official" first step towards baby.  I couldnt be more excited.  He on the other hand, is VERY nervous about getting his balls cut open again. lol

Thursday, November 18, 2010

IVF Roller Coaster

I found this tidbit from a fellow blogger and asked her permission to use it.  It describes exactly how crazy of a ride this is.  Hope you enjoy!!!

The IVF Plunge!

The latest.... The greatest.... Come ride the spectacular new roller coaster, now open at an IVF clinic near you! Take...
THE IVF PLUNGE!
Thrills! Chills! Stabs! Jabs! Laughs! Screams!
What makes THE IVF PLUNGE so unique is that it is actually several rides in one! But not all riders will experience all the rides - automatic track switchers randomly select cars to go on any particular sequence. In addition, selection of a clinic also results in different protocols, behavior, treatment, cost and support. So THE IVF PLUNGE is never the same ride twice!
For more details, read on....
Some riders will experience thrills on the INSURANCE ride! Swinging you around, upside down and inside out, a brass ring of coverage will be tantalizingly close, only to be snatched away at the last minute! For those riders who manage to snatch the brass ring, a FREE RIDE on THE IVF PLUNGE is available! (provided they meet certain restrictions.) Riders who don't grab the brass ring get a consolation prize - a ride on the CASH attraction! Whether maxing out the credit cards, taking a second loan on the house, or sponging off of future grandparents, this is a ride that you will remember for the rest of your life as you struggle to pay off the debt!!
A new attraction for PCO sufferers has recently been added - called DAY ONE. This ride starts with the well-known classic DAY ONE - a big draw in the INFERTILITY group of attractions - and ratchets the anticipation UP!!! Will YOU meet the cut-off date??? Then of course there is the Day 3 FSH - do YOUR ovaries have what it takes?
The first part of the main ride is familiar to those who've been to the INFERTILITY attractions before - OPKs! But the intensity is GREATER - the highs are higher and the lows are lower and the kits are even HARDER to read!! But it all pays off as you move into....
MEDICATIONS! This is the most intense part of THE IVF PLUNGE, described by visitors as the ride from hell!! Whether your shots are sub-cutaneous or intramuscular, you won't want to miss the artificial menopause brought on by lupron, and don't forget THE HORRORMONES! You think you've done injectibles before? You think you're a pro? THINK AGAIN!! With HIGHER levels of injectibles, and DAILY monitoring, this is where the nightmare becomes reality! Then who can forget the terror of HYPERSTIMULATION, one of those random side trips! Another random side trip, POOR RESPONSE, has a chance of ending your ride early!!! Just another sense of anticipation! Can YOU make it through this part of the ride?
If so, it's on to RETRIEVAL AND TRANSFER. This ride is unique in that NO TWO PEOPLE EXPERIENCE THE SAME THING!! Some will sail through with arms raised, careening into the next sequence. Others will be shunted off due to poor egg or sperm quality, incomplete fertilization, or fragmented embryos! Your heart will be in your mouth as you await the phone call telling you how many embryos made it! And will you be sick with anticipation, or is that a reaction to the anesthesia???
Then the TWO WEEKS FROM HELL. Words cannot describe this phenomenon! With daily intramuscular shots of progesterone in oil, this is probably the most painful part of the ride! The highs and lows are even more intense, as you are surrounded by well-meaning but offensive friends and relatives saying "Well?" and otherwise telling you what you SHOULD have done. NOTHING you have experienced in the two week wait of prior cycles will prepare you for this!! You will laugh, cry, scream - all at the same time! You will feel suspended in time as you wait for.....
THE TEST. The most anticipated part of the ride!!! Some random number (depending on clinic stats) will PASS!! Those lucky riders will go on to the PREGNANCY ride, a swirling maelstrom of emotions, changes, and risks! Those who receive a negative beta-HCG are not left out though. They will descend a huge drop of what will seem like ten miles in about 10 seconds!! The misery and tears will be just the beginning, as pregnant women and women with babies and adorable toddlers will be EVERYWHERE! But never fear, because for only thousands of dollars you can once again -
Take THE IVF PLUNGE!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Deflated Balloon

Just a quick note.  I called WU yesterday to get put on the schedule for December cycle.  They told me in October to do this and they would get my meds and calendar to me.  So I called and they told me I had to wait till next cycle to call.  Which means, Aunt Flo mid month December, call, they order BCP's and meds and then I start BCP's on cd4, Lupron in December. Then it will all happen really fast.    I knew that it all wasnt going to happen till then but I just wanted to ACTUALLY have something done.  The ball rolling.  Now I am back to sitting and waiting.  Oi Vey

Monday, November 15, 2010

It's A Great Day


Aunt Flo decided to visit 2 days early this month.  So that means I can call clinic tomorrow and OFFICIALLY get on the schedule to start in December.  WAHOO.  I think this is the very first time I have been excited for her arrival.   Usually she pisses me off and announces my BFN

Thursday, November 11, 2010

This is a BITCH/RANT post, you have been warned!!




I am going to start by saying this is my blog and if I feel the need to complain or bitch, I am going to.  This is supposed to be my outlet for everything I am feeling and going through.  And right now, I am definately feeling something.
I know that I am extremely lucky to have some insurance coverage.  There are many people out there that have no coverage at all and pay everything out of pocket.  But then there are some people that have unlimited coverage.  I am one of the ones that has a $10,000 lifetime coverage and we all know how far that gets in a cycle.  Not even the whole cycle and no meds. And my husband has to have a TESE performed and none of that is covered.  Well I eventually got all my numbers figured out on how much I would need to borrow for our loan to cover all the differences, called the bank and they wont loan it without collateral.  I have my car title and can use that.  But what happens if my car gets wrecked?  Am I just out no money and no car with a loan to still pay off??  I guess I just wish there was a guarantee with IVF.  The only thing keeping us from having a baby is my husband is shooting blanks, nothing wrong with me.  So once he has his surgery, things should be a go.  My RE seems to think we have a very good chance getting preggo, but how do I know they dont say that to everyone.  It is like I want them to put back like 5 embryo's so hopefully at least 1 will stick.  Because I know for a fact this will be our only chance at a pregnancy.  My husband and I are newlyweds, just starting out.  We have a house and he has 3 kids from an earlier marriage.  And unfortunately, I didnt know any better when I was younger and thought I needed to travel and have all these nice things.  Problem is that I paid for it all with a credit card.  Now I am thousands of dollars in debt and paying ridiculously high interest for all my fun I had when I was younger.  God, how I wished I would have listened to people when they told me to shred those credit card approval forms.
So that brings me to my current situation.  No money saved, no baby, and almost 35.  I have been sitting this evening questioning how my life ended up like this.  Like how did I get to this point??  Most women dream about their prince charming coming, marriage, and a family shortly after.  All by the time they are 25-30yrs.  I have an amazing husband and I am lucky for that.  But I cant help but wonder if I am being punished for all the bad or wrong things I did when I was younger.  Wrong boys I kissed, wrong boys I picked, lying to my parents about the wrong boys.  All the crap I did.  How did I get here?  I have always dreamt about being a mom.  I cant imagine my life without kids.  I was put on this earth to be a mom!  I have so much love to give.  How do I go on with my life if that isnt what God has in store for me?  I cant imagine there being a purpose.
How do you go into an upcoming cycle already having doubts.  That has to be a bad sign.  Like it is doomed from the very beginning.  It's not like this isnt already the hardest thing we will do, it will get harder with a BFN.  Now dont get me wrong, I would give anything to be a mom.  Any amount of money in the world. I just wish it was a guarentee.  Like why go through everything if for nothing?  How do I know what to do?  I guess I kinda just answered my own question.  How do you NOT go through with it for a chance to be a MOM?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Wishing for a money tree

Well, we finally got the invoice for DH's upcoming TESE.  Ka-Chunk  I have been trying for about a week now to find out the approx cost for my first round of meds from WU.  Playing phone tag between WU and my insurance and myself and getting called back during the day while I sleep, it has been exhausting.  But I actually think I have a general figure to get the loan for.  So, now I will get the loan and prepare for the 2 largest debit card purchases to EVER hit my account. LOL  I hope my bank approves them!  So after that, I just have to wait on AF for November and then call WU to get put on the cycle list for December.  Holy crap, that is soon. I am just excited to finally be doing something productive