Man, it feels like forever since I have posted and ALOT has happened. This will be a long post, just fyi. When I last left off, my E2 was 70 on Monday. I went in for bloodwork on Wednesday and it was only 99. The nurse told me that I would be back in STL Friday and Saturday. She stated that it was good that they went up, but should have went up alot more. And if it didn't, my cycle would be cancelled. So they increased my Follistim back up and was told to relax. Ya Right!!! I was bawling all night. Between the small increase in E2 and the 6 hours round trip drive, I was feeling defeated and I wanted to crawl in a hole. Well, my DH saw how upset I was and told me he was taking Friday off work and we would leave Thur evening and go to STL and spend 2 nights!! I was so happy. I needed him more than I realized. I prayed a bunch, and cried a bunch, then tried to remain optimistic. I went in Friday morning for bloodwork then got the call Friday afternoon my level went up to 271!!! So we are back in the game!!! I bawled tears of joy on the phone with the nurse. Then she told me to come back in the morning for more bloodwork and an ultrasound. YAY, my first ultrasound since stimming.
Well, I just got the call from the clinic. I have 4 measurable follicles, E2 is 457. They said if I don't have more measurable on Monday they will cancel my cycle. Bring on the devastation AGAIN. And to top it all off, my insurance people and pharmacy are being huge buttholes about refilling my Menopur. I was taking 2 vials a night and now up to 3 vials. And I am ordering and having it mailed to me because the town I live in doesn't have a specialty pharmacy. So as it stands right now, I am down 1 vial for tonight. And don't have any for Monday. So, I get to drive to STL to pick up 1 vial. yippee skippee.
*This was all typed out Saturday but I was so upset so I went to bed*
Now today (Sunday) I wake up to find out that my town is supposed to get 10-15inches of snow on Tuesday into Wednesday which is going to make my travels plans VERY hazardous. I may just have to move to STL. I am feeling so defeated, all I want to do is cry and crawl in a hole. I don't know if all this is God testing me to see how badly I want this or if these are all signs to stop on this journey. I don't know, but I am beside myself! And I know I can't take much more. Any prayers you ladies could spare would be appreciated.