Friday, February 25, 2011

Going Sperm Shopping

I had my phone consult with my doctor today to see if she has any idea what went wrong with my cycle.  She says I responded well to the medication, (which I dont believe) and I had great looking eggs.  The problem was when they added my husbands frozen sperm.  She stated they werent great.  Even at my 3 day transfer, I only had a 4 cell, and two 3 cell embryos.  One of the three cell embryos that they didnt implant, didnt grow at all anymore, and she didnt have much hope for the other two that were implanted.  She said we could do IVF again, but we dont have the money for that.  I was lucky enough to have some fertility insurance coverage but it got maxxed out before even this cycle was done and I owe them a bunch of money.  She wants me to have a HSG first, just to rule out any problems, which she said she doesnt foresee. Then she suggested IUI with donor sperm.  Said it usually takes 4-6 cycles to achieve a pregnancy since there is usually just a 20% chance every month to get pregnant.  I would be on clomid and use an LH kit to test for ovulation, then go in for insemination.  Then the dreaded 2WW.  It just all makes me nervous.  I mean, if it takes several cycles, then I am not sure if I can go through getting BFN's.  It might be more than I can bear.  And how do you even begin to shop for a baby daddy???  I know about searching for someone with same hair, eye, build and ethnic background and all of that, but how about everything else???  How do you one day tell your kid that your dad, isn't really your dad???   But the doctor said that is about the only way for us to have a child without IVF, so I guess that is the plan.  I am thinking this shopping experience is going to be much harder than buying a purse!!

If anyone has any suggestions or has been through this process or had an HSG, please feel free to let me know.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

Surviving the 2WW poem

I found this online in a chat forum and thought I would share with you all.

Surviving The Two Week Wait




Oh I must survive the 'Two Week Wait',
To see what will be, what is our fate.
It should not be bad, I'll keep busy with lots,
At least it's better than all those darn shots!

Day 1 I'll go for a nice calming walk,
And with my DH try not to talk
About kids and plans and names and such,
And try not to get our hopes up too too too much.

Day 2 Ahh, for today, I'll do some nice light cleaning,
And try not to think and keep myself from seeing,
Everyone around me with their cute babies,
And try to stop the incessant 'maybes'.

Day 3 with the In-Laws we'll dine,
Who don't know what's up, think everything is fine.
"No, thank you, I'll pass, I won't have the wine."
Stop looking at me, Mother-in-Law! No, it's not a sign!

Day 4 I'll look at my closet again,
Maybe a quick clean, then onto the den,
You know a crib would look great right over there,
Wait! Stop thinking about that, it just isn't fair!

Day 5, good grief! Will this day never end?
Where is my phone, can I call a friend?
And was that a twinge, or just anticipation?
Or am I one of those women who can actually feel implantation?

Day 6 I'm fine, I'm not going mad
But I keep looking at my dear husband, trying to see a Dad.
I have to keep busy, keep my mind occupied,
On trivial things, not what maybe happening inside!

Day 7, oh JOY, oh bliss, we are half way there!
No, I'm not obsessing, I haven't a care,
The first week flew by, I could hardly even tell,
And if you believe that I have a Bridge I can sell...

Day 8, Wait, are my breasts sore tonight?
Or, did I just wear my new bra too tight?
Am I feeling sick, nausea in the morning?
Or was that old expiration date actually a good warning?

Day 9, day 9, everything is fine!
Its not that I'm edgy, I SAID I WAS FINE!
Sorry, I did not mean to snap, but my temper is quick,
Is tomorrow too early to pee on a stick?

Day 10, For one day I'd just like to forget,
Not go crazy with days, my mind to reset.
A good friend she told me, "Remember, try not to dwell!"
Oh give me a break, this two weeks... umm, *Aint swell*!

Day 11, Well what to do, maybe I'll clean again?
Oops, my closet is empty and I blew up the den.
OK, I'll watch some TV to take my mind off the maybes
WHY DOES EVERY STATION ONLY PLAY "SHE'S HAVING A BABY?"

Day 12, good grief, I don't know how I will cope,
I want to be optimistic, to have some hope,
But I am afraid of disappointment, of again this not being the time,
If someone could make days fly, I'll give my last dime!

Day 13 is supposed to be Lucky, they say
Personally I wish it would just go away,
I am done with watching the days crawl by,
I hate all this waiting, too long have we tried.

Day 14, Wait, what? It's finally here?
Today we find out if a baby is near?
Umm, wait, now I don't know if I really want the real truth
I kind-of liked day-dreaming, but betas the proof!

So now it's off to the bathroom I go,
So far so good, I don't see Aunt Flow.
I open the package, pee and it will tell our fate,
Oh dear, now how do I survive this TWO MINUTE WAIT???

S. Hamilton
October 2, 2010

Monday, February 7, 2011

1dp3dt-PIO shot

Today was an ok day.  Trying to keep my focus.  I just wish I knew what was going on inside my uterus.  Is the embryo dividing and growing?  Am I still pregnant?  I am positive and praying and just hoping that is enough.  Had the best nights sleep last night that I have had in a long time.  Then lounged on the couch, ate lunch, then back to bed I went.  Then I had a bad dream, woke up with a mild panic attack, and since then been feeling a little sick to my stomach.  Hoping it is the little one in there making itself comfy. :-)  I know this 2ww is going to be the longest 2 weeks of my entire life!!!
On other news, I wanted to post about tonight's PIO shot.  I was terrified going into this about the IM shots.  They haven't been bad.  A few have hurt a little, but nothing I can't handle.  I have been numbing the area and trying to warm up the syringe to thin out the oil.  Tonight, I numbed for about 15 minutes.  Also, I drew up the oil in the syringe and held it under my armpit for about 20 min.  Then it was showtime.  I have to say, I barely felt it tonight.  I even questioned my hubby as to whether or not he pushed the medicine in.  So hopefully, I have found the magic protocol for PIO shots.  Try it girls.  Hoping tomorrow goes as smoothly.....

Sunday, February 6, 2011

PUPO!!!

Today was transfer day. I arrived way early again, as usual.  I just couldnt bear getting a phone call this morning saying none of them made it.  So I thought I will just go and make them give me someone's embies if mine were not ok. LOL Just kidding.  All 3 made it.  I was set for 9am.  Dr. Emily stated that I had a 4 cell with 10% fragmentation, a 3 cell with 20% fragmentation and another 3 cell with 30% fragmentation.  I have to admit, I was pretty upset with the number of cells.  But she assured me that she has seen pregnancy come from 4 cells and also, if the transfer would have been later in the day, there may have been more cells.  She stated that they would only transfer 2.  I stated I wanted 3 but she said with my age they wouldnt do it.  Said implanting the 3rd one wouldn't increase the chance for pregnancy, only the chance for multiples.  I got my first picture of my babies and it was showtime.  We got in our scrubs, then off to the procedure room we went.  This experience was interesting.  Not really painfull per se, just weird with being so exposed for a bunch of people to see your business.  They tell you to relax and drop your knees. Ok, hard to relax when this is the single most important thing I have ever done in my life.  My lining measured 13 and the doctor said my uterus was beautiful and perfect.  So we are saying many prayers, hoping for growth of the babies and stickiness so they want to hang out for 9 months.  After being back in the room and talking to the doctor, I mentioned POAS and she definitely said not to do it.  I told her it's just that NOTHING about this process has been normal.  I longed for the day when I could hold a positive stick up to my husband and tell him he is going to be a father again.  I started crying.   Then the doctor laid her hand on my shoulder and sat with me till I could calm down.  Very nice of her!!   After laying on my back for 30 minutes, we were off to the car for our 2 1/2 hour drive home.  This afternoon I have laid on the couch and then laid in my bed for a quick nap.  Now watching SuperBowl with my hubby.  Oh, and I ate a little bit of the core of the pineapple. Chewy and icky.  But I did it.  Now, if I could just get the dang PIO shot to quit hurting when the medicine goes in!!!  lol  We have tried holding it in our hands and even put it between my boobs to warm it up. Helped a bit but not great.  Beta day is Feb 21.  I get to wait an extra day for mine.  15 days!!!  lol   The joy of having transfer day fall on the weekend.   My DH has a saying.  It is : Dont think, just pray.   Please pray for growing embryos and sticky dust.  Heart you all!!!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Transfer set for tomorrow morning

I am supposed to go in the morning for my transfer.  Praying so hard that my 3 little snowbabies are growing and dividing like they should.  Planning on transferring all 3.

Question for you ladies- is there anything you ate or didnt eat, or did or didnt do, that helped for implantation?  Any words of advice or wisdom??
I heard the bit about the pineapple, will prob try that!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Fertilization Report

Out of 9 eggs, only 7 were mature.  Only 3 fertilized normally.  Transfer set for Sunday at 900am

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Egg Retrieval

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

We Got...

..
...
...

9 EGGS!!!  Booya!!! 
All grade 4 and 3 eggs.  Best there are.  Doctor even told me that she wished that everyone had as good of eggs as I did. Although I made her dig for them. lol  Apparently my right ovary was hiding behind my uterus so when they pushed it forward, I had more follicles than was originally thought.   I couldn't be happier.  I pray that DH's sperm and my egg play nicely today and we achieve a pregnancy!!  We are tentatively set for a Sunday transfer.

Today we got to the clinic at about 745 am, they were running a little late and didn't start doing anything till about 8:30.  Doctor started my IV, which was a little weird because he stuck me with a needle of numbing medicine then did the IV.  I could have handled having just the 1 needle stick of the IV, but I guess they don't do it that way.  I had a slight temp of 99.7 and the nurse was a little concerned.  Which in turn, made me upset.  Lord, I don't need any other problems.  But doctor wasn't concerned at all and said the trigger shot can raise your temp so all systems were a go!!  I was then taken back into the procedure room.  The anesthesiologist got me all hooked up with the oxygen and then strapped my arms down.  I didn't like that at all!!  I remember them putting my left leg up in the stirrups and then I remember nothing after that. I guess my blood pressure went a little high, but after awhile it all came down.  I had to stay around until I could eat, drink and pee then I was outta there. I think I got discharged about 11:15 or so.  First PIO was easy. I was expecting it to be much worse.  So, they are to call me tomorrow with the first fertilization report.  Pray for good news!!

On a side note, my DH and I pulled up at home to approx 2 foot drift of snow that had our driveway completely shut down.  Nice!!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It's Official, prepping for ER

I just got the call.  E2 is 1453 and I have 8 measurable follicles.  I trigger tonight at 8:30pm with a retrieval for Thursday morning at 8:30am.  Very nervous about the big needle.

Any words of advice???