Friday, February 25, 2011

Going Sperm Shopping

I had my phone consult with my doctor today to see if she has any idea what went wrong with my cycle.  She says I responded well to the medication, (which I dont believe) and I had great looking eggs.  The problem was when they added my husbands frozen sperm.  She stated they werent great.  Even at my 3 day transfer, I only had a 4 cell, and two 3 cell embryos.  One of the three cell embryos that they didnt implant, didnt grow at all anymore, and she didnt have much hope for the other two that were implanted.  She said we could do IVF again, but we dont have the money for that.  I was lucky enough to have some fertility insurance coverage but it got maxxed out before even this cycle was done and I owe them a bunch of money.  She wants me to have a HSG first, just to rule out any problems, which she said she doesnt foresee. Then she suggested IUI with donor sperm.  Said it usually takes 4-6 cycles to achieve a pregnancy since there is usually just a 20% chance every month to get pregnant.  I would be on clomid and use an LH kit to test for ovulation, then go in for insemination.  Then the dreaded 2WW.  It just all makes me nervous.  I mean, if it takes several cycles, then I am not sure if I can go through getting BFN's.  It might be more than I can bear.  And how do you even begin to shop for a baby daddy???  I know about searching for someone with same hair, eye, build and ethnic background and all of that, but how about everything else???  How do you one day tell your kid that your dad, isn't really your dad???   But the doctor said that is about the only way for us to have a child without IVF, so I guess that is the plan.  I am thinking this shopping experience is going to be much harder than buying a purse!!

If anyone has any suggestions or has been through this process or had an HSG, please feel free to let me know.

13 comments:

  1. Oh Shawna I'm so sorry things haven't turned out the way you planned. I hope that you're able to find donor sperm that you both are happy with - as for the HSG, it all depends on who's doing it, what meds you took beforehand, and your level of pain tolerance.

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  2. I have no idea about picking a baby daddy but happy shopping! The HSG wasn't bad. There is a little pressure and I hadcrampong after but it is not scary or really painful. It was pretty fast too. Good luck.

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  3. This is not an easy process and it is important to take your time and do thorough research on sperm selection. It seems that you've got a nice following of bright people that can continue to guide you in the right direction. thanks for sharing your story. excited to follow your journey.

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  4. I think you are right that it is going to be more difficult than buying a purse! I honestly don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes....but I just wanted to offer you some support. I know it's SO hard when you want a baby so bad and "things" just aren't falling into place and you are looking at MORE time waiting! As far as the baby daddy....I wouldn't worry too much about that. I know lots of girls who used DS and it's not a big deal even when the child is older. Your husband WILL BE the baby's daddy!! The sperm donor is just the sperm donor. Good luck Shawna!!

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  5. I haven't been in your exact situation. But I have been an egg donor. I know for me, the woman that loves, and raises those children is their mother. I am genetically related to them, but I am also genetically related to my cousins who I rarely see. Your children's dad will be the man who reads to them, puts them to bed, takes them to the park...select someone whose genetic makeup looks like the man that is and will be their dad and then explain to them that a stranger donated his genes so that their dad could give them his love/time/attention. As I went through my egg donor cycle It was as though I gave my body for lease to the recipient. It was her levels, her uterine lining, and her eggs. I was just the carrier of it.
    Best wishes and thoughts to you

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  6. I had an HSG after TTC for a year...Turns out I had a partial blocked tube (Which you can still get preggers, but could take longer)..I was set to have surgery to unblock it..BUT as it turns out I actually found out that I was pregnant from the HSG (Which I have heard is really common)on the day of my surgery (which we obviously never did)..I guess with some women, when they insert the dye to see about the tubes, sometimes it will naturally unblock a tube....The only thing I can tell you about the HSG, is that you will experience EXTREME cramping when they do it, so be prepared for that..

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  7. hi shawna. glad you have got a plan now and hopefully feeling a bit brighter from when we last talked. you will get there.

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  8. Gosh what a hard thing to choose:( But Im glad you are on a path that will lead you to a baby:)

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  9. Hi. I'm here from the LFCA. I am currently pregnant after my second IUI with donor sperm. We were told it could take 4-6 cycles also. I was also told to get an HSG. Mine wasn't bad, but I'm told they're only painful if something is blocked. Feel free to stop by my blog or email me if you have questions. Trying to pick donor sperm was so much harder than I had planned on. If I can help, I'd be glad to!
    http://oncewithfeeling.blogspot.com/
    jc_winkler@yahoo.com

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  10. Here from LCFA -

    I'm currently pregnant with donor sperm, though my story is different, because I'm single. I used Clomid for two cycles, and then moved to Femara and Gonal-F for the second two (both successful, though the first ended in m/c). Several of the sperm banks offer face matching, so that you can send in a picture of your husband and they'll tell you which donor you like looks most like him, plus you have the bonus of screening out donors with undesirable family medical histories, etc. I strongly recommend you tell your child from early on that you used a sperm donor - if he/she always knows it, the story will never be a shock, it'll just be her normal. And your husband will ALWAYS be daddy, because he'll be the one to hold her, rock her to sleep, and wipe away her tears. My child will not have a dad, just a donor, and that's how I'll always refer to him.

    There are a bunch of resources for talking to your child about this - here's one of many: http://www.xyandme.com

    Oh, and I'd ask about using a trigger shot instead of OPKs - it's so much less stressful!

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  11. The hsg was not bad, and it led to a polypectomy which was followed by a successful iui.

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  12. Hey Honey,
    I am so so sorry about your bfn, and also about the new path of donor sperm that you are now facing. While I am so grateful that ds is an option, there is a lot of grieving that has to happen to let go of the idea of having a genetic connection.

    My dh was diagnosed with Azoospermia, meaning that he does not make any sperm. We did two cycles of DS IUI and are now moving forward with ds IVF. Feel free to email me if you have questions or need to talk... foxypopcorn at gmail.

    The iui's were not inexpensive at 3k each cycle. (we did a medicated cycle with a back to back insemination following a trigger shot, which added to the cost.) and our dr warned us that the chances of conceiving after the 4th iui try drop significantly. I don't say this to scare you, i just want you to be able to plan accordingly.

    infertility really sucks. I am so sorry.
    much love and luck to you - foxy

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